Ok last last post in 2006

Ok, one of the reasons I came here was to focus on my responsibility to love others – not just people like me with my same background and education level and interests, but all others; to sacrifice my comforts for the benefit of others; to share the knowledge given to me so that others may have it a little easier; I’m here for these people. And yet I am finding it hard to go a whole day without being irritated and cynical. That has been my goal for the past couple of weeks and dang it I just can't do it - yet. I really do not want to be negative and I want to lose my cynicism more than anything and I have so much to be thankful for. I was thinking that this was all just coming from being away during the holidays, but I don’t think that’s it. Why am I allowing the name-calling and the constant haggling and the dirt and the inconveniences overshadow my beautiful African experience? I feel bipolar somedays and I'm blaming it on the malaria medication. I can’t figure it out, so in the meantime I will be listing the things I love until that is all I see. Dang it this cup is half-full! More than that, my cup runneth over and that is what I’m focusing on.
So, last night when I got up in the middle of the night to go to the restroom, the moon was so bright that I felt like I was standing (well, squatting) in a spot light. It was amazing. This is cool because on nights when the moon is not out, I have to estimate where the hole is and pray that the creepy-crawlies don’t crawl on my feet or bite my butt until I can get finished and get the heck out of there. (I can’t be bothered to take my flashlight – which would just add another thing to have to hold, in addition to my toilet paper and my pantlegs, that I have to make sure doesn’t fall in the hole, or anywhere else for that matter.)
When I was biking home this afternoon after a full day in the city, the sun was just setting on the horizon and I had just reached the hill (going down – because everyday on my way into the city I have to go up that hill into what I swear has got to be 50 mph winds) by my house, so the trip turned effortless and I imagined my dad looking at the same sun setting later tonight and thinking how lucky I am to have him.
And just today after reading my friends emails about how it has been rainy and dreary and gray at home, I realized that every day here is sunny and beautiful. Everyday, the same beautifully cloudless blue sky. I dreamed for a place like this back in the winters of Indiana and now I have it. It is awesome to have sunny days everyday. I know it won’t continue forever, and that it wouldn’t be a good thing if it did because this place needs the rain, but it’s just nice for now and for that I am thankful.
Tonight my counterpart fixed me a salad, because she knows I love salad but could never eat theirs because it’s dangerous when not properly cleaned – but she washed everything three times and soaked it in bleach, just for me. And it was gooood.
And today I got care packages from my dad and sister that included M&Ms (among many other fantastic items) that I shared with everyone in my compound and that provided smiles that haven’t yet faded.
And today I got approved to take vacation in April, so I’m going see my brother in China and then come home to visit the states.
With all this, what in the world am I grouchy about? Thanks for listening.

Ok, so I tried to go to my friend's village to visit her yesterday and didn't make it. Here's what happened... So there is no bus station to go to in order to catch a ride to her village. There is just a corner next to the grand mosque where buses accumulate and leave when jam packed. That's really how it works. So I went to this corner and asked where I could find the bus going to Banzon and a lady told me and so I got on the bus. It was a pretty red bus with fake flowers decorating the front window. So I found a seat and waited. After about 20 minutes a guy came up and told us that this bus was not going to the village and that we had to get on another bus. Ok, so he shows us the other bus, which I can only describe as the Griswald's West African Vacation bus. I would have bet a lot of money that this vehicle was not going to make it 2 blocks, let along to the village 2.5 hours away. There were at least 50 bags, 15 bicycles and 2 goats strapped to the top; there were at least 50 people packed inside when there were only 25 seats; there were cases of beer running the length of the bus in the aisle; literally nowhere to step; people were sitting on top of each other and the guy told me to have a seat on some guy's lap. Thanks, but no thanks my friend. I'm pretty sure this is the norm here, but I haven't had to deal with it because I live in the city and never have had to go to a village. The buses that run between the capital city and Bobo are run more like the ones I'm used to where you go buy a ticket at a station and everyone gets a seat and they don't take more than the bus holds. The worst I've had to do is jam 8 people (not including the driver) in a taxi the size of a Geo Metro - I'm not exaggerating. Anywho, needless to say, I opted out of going on the trip. Just couldn't do it. Maybe one day, but not this day. There is no such thing as personal space here - it's the American in me that just can't let that concept go.