Getting married...

Monday December 4, 2006

So tonight after dinner the ladies and I sat around the mango tree talking. Of course the subject of me and marriage came back up. An unmarried 30 year old woman in this country is just hard for them to digest I guess. This is a summary of how the conversation went:
Ladies: After we find you a husband how many kids would you like to have with him?
Me: Thank you. I don’t need you to find me a husband. But thank you.
Ladies: (Laughter) Ok, but how many kids are you going to have?
Me: I’m not sure that I will have any.
Ladies: (Gasping) What? You must! Why not?
Me: Maybe I will adopt.
Ladies: (Gasping) That’s ridiculous! You have to have your own! Why would you adopt?
Me: Well, are there orphanages here?
Ladies: Yes.
Me: Are there a lot of children in the orphanages?
Ladies: Yes, very many!
Me: And where are those children’s parents?
Ladies: Many are dead.
Me: And where are their families?
Ladies: I don’t know.
Me: Do you know that there are very many people in Africa with AIDS and they have children and then die and then those children grow up with no family.
Ladies: Yes, it’s very sad.
Me: Well, maybe I will give a family to one or some of those kids.
Ladies: But you have to have your own! That’s the point of marriage.
Me: Not the only point. Marriage is also good for living your life with someone you love and respect and helping other people. You know, if I were already married and had children I couldn’t be here helping you. It will depend on my husband. I will talk with him and if he wants to have children I will have them, and if he likes the idea of adopting, we will adopt. We will talk and negotiate.
Ladies: (Speechless)

This is how many of the conversations go – in French of course. Just another day in Burkina.