Back from Ouaga

My stay in the capital city ended up being twice as long as originally planned, so when I returned home yesterday I got quite the welcome. People were kissing me on my cheeks and telling me how much they missed me and how happy they were that I was back. The kids came from everywhere and for a split second I thought to myself, “Wow, they are really happy to see me.” But I know better…so out came the bonbons and they were literally squealing with delight. I think it was Jenny that sent me Pop Rocks (great idea!) and I decided to give them to the kids today along with the lollipops. I’m pretty sure they thought it was Christmas all over again (well, they would have if people here got presents on Christmas like we do in the U.S. – but you get the analogy). I had to recheck the ingredients on the wrapper because I would have sworn that those were straight crack. They were literally hopping around like bunnies. Poor things must have been going through terrible withdrawals while I was away. It was hilarious.

Today was an awesome day. The weather was absolutely beautiful; it was sunny and there was a light steady breeze all day and it was the perfect temperature; I got to talk to my sister twice (thanks for calling Steph); I washed my clothes on my front porch while I listened to jazz music; I finished a great book about the life of a phenomenal neurosurgeon at Johns Hopkins – Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story…read it if you get the chance. It was an awesome day.

I was sitting under the mango tree looking up at the clear blue sky wondering why today seemed so great and I realized that it was just so quiet and peaceful. Then I realized that I had not seen the man of this compound (Mr. O) since I got back yesterday afternoon, which is odd because he is ALWAYS around. I could just feel a sense of peacefulness from everyone. The courtyard was vacant this afternoon and I was sitting under the tree when Mdm O (the first wife) came and sat with me. The concept of living in the courtyard with a polygamous family was annoying to me at first, but I have really taken a liking to the first wife. She is the sweetest woman. She works and works from way before I wake up in the morning until after I go to sleep at night. She is patient and easy-going and her face always lights up when I come around and she always says, “Oh, Nanette.” But she also keeps her little problem child in check (at least when she’s at home). I always try to keep her laughing because she has the best smile. So she sat next to me and we just talked for a while. Then she brought out her photo album to show me. She showed me pictures of her mom and brothers and sisters, and then she showed me pictures of her 4 older kids that don’t live here. I’ve only lived here a month, but I’ve been here through the “holidays,” and thought at least one or two of them might “come home” for the holidays. But none showed up. So I asked her if they ever come to visit. She told me they never do because her husband is so mean. When they were growing up he apparently hit them (and her) a lot, so when they moved away they never came back. She asked me if I noticed how he is always mean to the kids, and I had to admit that I have. I haven’t seen anything physical. I’ve actually tried to just not notice him because he’s not nice and I didn’t want to build this disliking towards him, but it is what it is I guess. I asked her if she ever went to see her kids and she said she doesn’t have the money. I ask these questions like they are just common sense…”why don’t you just hop on a bus and go see your sons and daughters like I go see my friends for the weekend.” But it’s just not that easy here. Things that used to seem easy to me just aren’t. “If you want to take a trip, save your money and go.” But she doesn’t have a “job.” She is a mother of 7, with 3 kids still at home. She is the first wife in a compound where she works nonstop, everyday. I used to think, “If you can’t afford 7 kids, don’t have 7 kids.” But many women here don’t have a say in “family planning.” Men have multiple wives that they impregnate at will and they just deal with it. Oh, things used to be so simple. She has a sadness in her eyes that I see a lot here and I hate it. It’s peaceful today because he is not here. Sitting there today, just her and me, under the beautiful blue sky with the wind in the mango trees, I felt so sad for her. I’m used to seeing a problem and fixing it, but how do I fix this? I just want to say, “It doesn’t have to be this way.” Ok Miss Smarty-Pants-Fix-Everything-American…what are you going to do about it then?