One thing I have time to do here is think. There are much fewer distractions from thinking here than there are in the U.S. I don't have TV or constant radio in the car (car? what car?), I don't spend an hour everyday "getting ready." I just have a lot more time to really think in silence; to ponder many things I have wondered about.
So I was sitting here frustrated to no end the other day and I started wondering why I was so grouchy. Life is hard here (and I have it easier than 99% of the people who live here) and I realized that there hasn’t been a whole day that I have lived in this country throughout which I was comfortable. I’m grouchy because I am constantly uncomfortable. But what gives me the right to expect to be comfortable? Because that’s all I’ve ever known. I have always had a temperature-regulated environment; I have always had access to cold beverages; I have always been able to eat what I want whenever I want; I have always been able to take a nap when I want, or go for a run, or visit my friends or family, or fly to Jamaica for vacation. All 30 years up until now have been comfortable and easy (and I know this is because I live in a country that allows me these freedoms, and I come from a family that has provided the means for me to do anything). My natural instinct is to seek comfort because that’s all I’ve ever known. I wonder what I would seek if I never knew comfort.
I have always all my life been able to get or do anything I want. I feel so fortunate to be a woman in this world and be able to do anything I want. If I want to move to a 3rd world country and live amongst the poorest of this world, I can. If I want to move to the U.S. and make $100,000 a year, I can do that too. If I want to watch a movie, get a massage, paint my toenails and go to the store in my bikini, I can. Imagine a life in which you couldn’t get or do what you want. Imagine being a Muslim woman in Saudi Arabia and not being allowed to walk to the store without being escorted by a man, just because you are a woman. Or imagine being born into a family here with no money and your only option is to work you family's fields in order to eat for the rest of your life. Or imagine a gazillion other scenerios you could be in. Having the luxuries of freedom and choices are the ones I treasure most. So many people in this world don’t have and will never know these.